Really Really Bad Eggs
by Anne Parkington
Summary: FINISHED!Sequel to ‘Really Bad Eggs’: Oh no! Our heros have found themselves face to face with those girls again (who are really ticked at jack) Elizabeth finds love in a really awkward place.
1. This is NOT good

**Really Really Bad Eggs**

_By Anne Parkington_

[Sum] Sequel to 'Really Bad Eggs': Oh no! Our heros have found themselves face to face with the Ghost kaput-ers again. And they're realllly ticked off at Jack. Elizabeth is torn between two very sexy men, and finds out that there are really bad eggs in Heaven as well. (rated C for CRAZY-GO-NUTS!)

[Dis] I do not own any of the millions of things that shall be mentioned in this fan fic. Except the Ghost Kaput-ers, unfortunately, _those are mine. _

Kate} hey, whats that supposed to mean?

Lizz} yeah?!

Uhh, nothing! Heh heh, absolutely nothing. . . more specific of the things I do not own, Pirates of the Caribbean and Harry Potter, and the hedgehog. 

Melissa} you do So own the hedgehog you dope!

Shut up!

Amanda} She's right, you definitely do!

Mehhhhh! Leave me alone you crap-for-crap!

Kate} Oooh I think that calls for another disclaimer, Anne.

:sigh: _FINE_! I do not own Homestarrunner.com, or more specifically, Strong Bad, and all his sayings, such as Crap-for-crap, Crazy-go-nuts, you wouldn't know majesty if it bit you in the face, and the cheat is not dead. Okay? Happy now?

The Girls} Yess!! 

Good. 

[Ded] Dedicated to Amanda, like always, whos' my new best brainstorming buddy! She came up with so much crap for this, and convinced me to make a sequel! Also dedicated to my reviewers!! You guys are awesome, and with out you, I wouldn't know if people wanted a sequel or not.

**Chapter One: [This is NOT good]**

**.: BIG**** ANNOUNCER VOICE :.**

**  
We're baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!! **

_Did you miss us? I know you did! Yes, me and Mr. Big announcer voice here are going to accompany you on yet another part of Really Bad Eggs! Only this time its called Really Really Bad eggs. Get it, cuz its part 2, and there are two reallys?_

**I think they do, Anne.**

_Good! Cuz then I'd be worried! LA! I'm just taking up space here, on with the fan fic! Woot!_

**Woot****!**

**[Small commercial break]**

Will looked sadly at the slain girls before him. 

"That's a shame. They were nice. They helped us find you!" Will said. 

"Well, they were Mary-Sues, they had to go." Jack explained, tucking his sword back into his belt. 

"I don't know. I'm not too sure they were. They didn't really save the day, and they weren't really perfect, and they-" 

"Elizabeth, please. I know a Mary-Sue when I see one, and those were four very Mary Sue, Mary-Sues." Jack interrupted, walking outside with the rest of them, "Now if you don't mind, if you'd be so kind as to take me back to my ship." 

"Uhh. . . " Will said, his eyes suddenly growing with worry. _How were they going to get home? _Suddenly, the space ship they had used appeared in the corner of his eye. It must have landed there when they fell out.

"We can take that!" He cried, pointing at it. They all looked at it. 

"Yes, Will, Brilliant! As if we know how to work it!" Elizabeth said helplessly. Jack scratched  his chin thoughtfully and walked towards it. Marty, Will and Elizabeth followed closely, dodging strange looks from passersby. Jack got in and started pushing buttons randomly. Suddenly it fired up, and they all jumped inside. The doors closed and they sped off into the night.

But they didn't get too far. Just out of Las Vegas, Jack realized he had no idea what he was doing and lost control of the ship.

"OH god, we're going to die again!! And it's all your fault!!!" Elizabeth screamed at Jack who raised his hands defensively.

"Calm down, luv! 's'not all bad! I mean, we gots a perty view, good company and. . ." He took out his hip flask which he had refilled at the bar. "Good rum!" He took a swig from it, but let out a cry of anguish. "EMPTY?! But I just filled this blasted thing. . . " and then he saw the hole in it.

"NO!! WE'RE GONNA DIE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN THING!!" He screamed.

"At least its cooler than eating a bad hamburger. Or some bad eggs." Marty said softly. Will looked helplessly around, but they all were thrown against the control panel as the ship took a nose dive and crashed into a park.

}In Heaven{

Kate, Melissa, Lizz and Amanda sat on clouds looking forlornly around. They were dead, no more ghost kaput-ing for them. Oh well, ah them. They'd get that Jack Sparrow back if it was the last thing they did.

"We'll get that Jack Sparrow back if it's the last thing we do!" Kate said determinedly. 

"Yeah. And we'll make him PAY for killing us!" Lizz said, picking off a piece of cloud and blowing it over so it landed on Melissa's head. 

"Yeah. . " Melissa said absently, "Make him _pay!_" She took the cloud off her head and put it in her pocket.

"I'm just upset that we had to die in our uniforms. These are ugly." Amanda sighed. And she was right. They all sighed sadly. They didn't like being dead much.

"I don't like being dead much." Amanda said after a few moments of silence. They all nodded in agreement. Suddenly Kate's mood improved and she started laughing manically.  

"Woah, Kate's lost it!!" Amanda said, looking in surprise at Kate.

"She lost it a long time ago." Lizz muttered. Kate pointed at the entrance to heaven and they all looked. In trudged Jack, Will, Marty and Elizabeth. They each exchanged evil grins, and walked over to them. 

"Sooo, what happened? Die already?" Kate said smirking at Jack and flicking one of the braids in his beard.

"Obviously!" Spat Jack. The girls chortled.

"Oh well, it's okay. We don't have _any hard feelings about you killing us. In fact, Melissa, Kate and I were wondering if you wanted to come have a drink with us. You and Marty." Lizz said._

"Drink?!" Jack said happily. Marty grinned. 

"OKAY!" They said, and the girls lead him away, leaving Amanda with Elizabeth and Will.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go to a concert with me." She asked.

Will raised an eyebrow.

"What's a concert?" He asked. 

"It's when you go somewhere and watch people play music." 

"Oh, like a recital?" Elizabeth asked, recalling her piano recitals when she was younger. Amanda glanced at her and shot her with a vague, 'yea'.

"Sure sounds good. . . Will said tentatively. Amanda grinned and looked at Elizabeth with sudden amazement.

"Elizabeth! You have a pimple on your nose!!" She cried. Elizabeth gasped.

"A PIMPLE?! OH NO! Uhh. . . what's a pimple?"

"Look! Come here!" Amanda cried, pulling Elizabeth over behind a very dense cloud. She then proceeded to push the poor girl into the dungeon. She ran back to Will and linked arms with him. "Lets go!"

"But what about Elizabeth?" Will asked looking behind them.

"OH, she decided she didn't want to go." Amanda lied, grinning at the fact that Will was so close. 

"Oh alright. . " Will said, finally focusing on Amanda for the first time. _Hey._ . . she's really pretty!__

Meanwhile. . . in the basement, Elizabeth screamed and screamed trying to get anyone's attention. Suddenly a cold voice came from behind her.

"What are you doing in my dungeon?"

**Dun dun dunnnnnnnn!!!  
  
**

**What are those girls up to? And who was that strange guy in the dungeon? For those answers and MORE look for future episodes of Really Really Bad Eggs!!**

You guys know the drill, Read and Review!! They go together like apples and bananas!


	2. The Hedgehog and Naked Jack

**Really Really Bad Eggs**

_By Anne Parkington_

_Review Replies_

nicole297- You wanted it, so here it is! Another chapter! ^_^

Elf-Vulcan- Thank you sooo much! Yay Savvy!! (go Branford!)

AppleJuiceMaker- You are absolutely right about who's in the dungeon! Lol you read my mind!

Pirate-Chicha- Heehe you haven't _seen psycho ness yet!_

Slowbum360- So SO glad you liked it!

**.: Big**** Announcer Voice :.**

**Last time on Really Bad Eggs**

_:cough__: _

**What?**

_It's not Really Bad Eggs anymore. It's Really Really Bad Eggs._

**Oh. . oh right! Sorry! :clears throat: Last time on Really Really Bad Eggs:**

o/o/o/o/o/o

_"EMPTY?!__ But I just filled this blasted thing. . ."_

o/o/o/o/o/o

_"Woah, Kate's lost it!!" Amanda said, looking in surprise at Kate.___

o/o/o/o/o/o

_"__Elizabeth__! You have a pimple on your nose!!"_

o/o/o/o/o/o

_"What are you doing in my dungeon?"_

**And now, Chapter 2: [The Hedgehog and Naked Jack]**

**-short commercial break-**

"Who's there?" asked Elizabeth in a scared voice. A man with a hooked nose and long greasy black hair that hung in front of his sour yellowish face emerged from the shadows. He wore a black robe and held a stick in one hand.

"Who are you?" Elizabeth asked.

"I am Professor Severus Snape. The potions teacher at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry."

"Oh." Elizabeth said, her mouth getting small.

"Why are you in my dungeon?" He asked again.

"This awful girl-"

Amanda} Hey!!

Anne} No way did you just interrupt my story.

Amanda} Oops. . . 

Anne} You know what the punishment is!

Amanda} Damnit! ::goes into cabin of ship and peels potatoes::

"This awful girl threw me down here!!" Elizabeth cried, helplessly, shivering in the damp cold of the dungeon. 

"Oh, well, good. I've wanted an assistant. Come with me."

"With all due respect, Mr. Snap-"

"Professor _Snape_." He corrected her.

"Professor _Snape_, but I'd rather stay here and wait for someone to rescue me."

"Don't you sass me, young lady or I'll take 30 points from. . . er. . . whatever house you're in. Now follow me!" He snapped. Elizabeth gave one longing glance up towards the grate in which she was thrown through, and followed Snape into the darkness. 

}M34NWHIL3 (meanwhile){

"Now we're gonna play, 'I've never' it's a drinking game. We each say something that we've never done, and then if you _have done that, you take a shot." Lizz said, pouring about 30 shots and placing them in the middle of the circle they sat in. Melissa, Kate and Lizz exchanged evil glances, as Jack and Marty looked eagerly at the liquor in front of them._

"Okay, I'll go first." Lizz said. "Uhh, I've never. . . commandeered a ship." She threw out, mock-casually. Jack lunged at the shots instantly and guzzled one down, smacking his lips.

"Ahhh! Good stuff!" He said contently. 

"Alright! Me next! I've. . . I've never eaten a bad hamburger, and _died_." Kate said, pointedly. Marty beamed, raised his hand a little and took a shot.

"Okay, I've never been a boy." Melissa said. Marty and Jack glanced at each other and took their shots. Now about an hour passed, before the boys passed out and the girls cackled maliciously. 

"Bwahaha! Our plan worked perfectly!" Kate squealed.

"Yup! Get them drunk, then steal their stuff!! C'mon!" Lizz said, glancing at the two crumbled figures across the room.

}M34NWHIL3 (meanwhile){

Amanda and Will were at the Aerosmith/KISS concert, rocking out. Well, almost. Amanda was rocking out, but Will was looking desperately confused.

"AMANDA!" He screamed in her ear. She looked at him and beamed.

"Having fun?" She asked, screaming back. Will shook his head.

"WHY NOT?" She shouted.

"WHERE'S THE MUSIC?!" he cried.

"WHERE'S THE MUSIC?! THIS IS IT!!"

"THIS IS NOISE!!" Will cried. "PLEASE CAN WE DEPART?" He asked, his Labrador eyes pleading with her. Amanda sighed, and gave one last glance at Stephen Tyler, before ushering Will out of the hall. 

"Sorry about that, Will. I forgot about how our taste in music is probably very different."

"It's alright." Will said, as they floated back to heaven. They walked through the gates chatting happily, when suddenly they heard yelling.

"AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Kate screamed, streaking past them. Will's eyes widened, she was wearing Jack's hat, his shirt and his pants. Suddenly Lizz and Melissa ran past, Lizz was wearing his head wrap and Melissa was wearing Marty's clothes. 

Melissa} Poo! Why don't _I _get to wear Jack's clothes?

Anne} There wasn't enough clothes to go around.

Melissa} Yes there were! Give me his shirt! Please!!?

Anne} Fine. . . 

"AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" cried a blurred figure as it ran past them. Two more ran past as well, followed by two very conscious, very naked males.

"JACK!!" Will cried, covering Amanda's eyes. 

"OY! Let go of me!" She cried, trying to pry his hands away. "Your hands are rough! They're hurting my face!" But Will didn't pay attention.

"What HAPPENED?!"

"They stole our clothes!" Jack complained. 

"How did they manage that?" Will raised an eyebrow.

"They got us good and drunk. . . and you know that Angels can't stay drunk for long. . . well we woke up, and there they were in our clothes. . . so we chased them.

"Ohh, and what do you plan to do when you've got them? Tear their clothes off? They're only children."

"Are not!" came a voice from behind him. They all turned to look at Kate standing there, brandishing Jack's sword.

"Be careful with that!" Jack complained.

"ahhh u put some clothes on." Snapped Kate, but she didn't have to cover her eyes, because Will's arm was in exactly the right place. 

"I WOULD if I COULD!" Jack growled.

"Oh yeah huh?" Kate giggled madly, and turned and dashed away. Jack was about to run after her when Will stopped him. "Please, they're just children!" Will pleaded.

"Yeah, Jack lets go get some robes first. . " Marty suggested. Jack nodded and they ran off. 

Amanda turned around and ran off in the direction where the girls went. When she caught up with them she asked, 

"What are you doing?!"  Lizz grinned evilly.

"We're getting Jack back for killing us, and wrecking havoc! Bwahahah! Havoc! HAVOC! HAVOOCCCCCCCCC!!!!" 

Amanda blinked. 

"Riiight."

"Hey, you and Will looked pretty Cozy, where's Elizabeth?" Melissa asked.

"Oh. . "Amanda blushed. "I locked her in the dungeon." 

The girls cackled nastily. 

}M34NWHIL3 (meanwhile){

"Drink this potion." Snape said, giving her a vile.

"What is it made out of.

"Really bad eggs, and-" 

"Not again!" Elizabeth groaned. "Last time I ate really bad eggs, I died!" She complained, her lip quivering.

"well, you can't really die again, can you?" Snape asked, his eyes glittering dangerously. Elizabeth took this into consideration and downed the vile. Then she turned into a hedgehog.

"Oh my. _That _wasn't supposed to happen. . . " Snape said with mild interest.

-Wow this chapter was short, and it sucked, but whatever. I'm not feeling too creative today. My muse ran away, you see, and now I have to find another one. . . oh well. Review please!


	3. The Spittin' Image

**Really Really Bad Eggs**

_Anne Parkington_

_Review replies:_

Darkangel2216- Thank you!!

Elf-Vulcan- Ohh yeah! Lost muse posters!! That'd work!! You're brilliant!!

Mountainlion-Ohh, I dunno, I liked the first one better two, but I'm gonna try to make this one good too. . .^^

Lyra Belacqua-I lie awake. . . I drive myself crazy, drive myself. . . ::catches self:: oops. . . I mean, NO MORE CHEESECAKE!!!! Ahhhh!!! :throws stuff and runs away:

AppleJuiceMaker-You are so smart!! Or you think like me. . . :ponders: that'd be frightening! :pause: YAY!!!

Slowbum360- Yeup! A hedgehog, and unfortunately I hold the rights to it. :grumble: stupid thing. It pees in my underwear drawer and hogs the covers. Its not even like a muse or anything! It has no purpose at all!

Hedgehog] Squeak!

_Oh no, you don't stupid thing! Don't you go being all cute so people will like you. They shouldn't! You're evil!_

Hedgehog] .;cocks head and rolls on back:. Squeak!

Taylor] Aww! It's so cute, Anne, how could you call it stupid!

_When did you get here?_

Taylor] Amanda let me in! .:pets hedgehog:. What's its name?

_Reminder to self: Make Amanda peel 16 more bags of potatoes._

Taylor] What? You don't like me being here? 

_No! That's not it, its just that. . I told Amanda no visitors. And you're not even in the story!_

Taylor] Yeah, but I gave you an idea! Governor Swann dance!! 

_I don't think that would work into what I'm doing. And besides, I couldn't write the tune so no one would be able to fully appreciate the beauty of The Governor Swann dance. _

Taylor] Yeah, okay. Whatever. Freak.

_.:Grumps:. It's grumpin' time. _

Taylor] ::rolls eyes:: 

_Whatever.__ You know. . . now that Rocky's gone I'm having a terrible time with this whole writers block thing. _

Taylor] Who?

_My muse.__ He ran away. HEY! I know away you can help! And that stupid hedgehog too!_

Taylor] She's not stupid! Her name is Isabelle!

_Uhh__, __Tay__, that's a boy._

Taylor] ::ignoring:: Isn't that right! You're sooo cute! :pet pet:

_Fine, whatever.__ Take 'isabelle' and go put up these lost muse posters. .:hands over big stack of papers and hands a roll of tape to isabelle._

Taylor] oooh goodie! Errands! .:they run off:.

**LAST TIME ON REALLY REALLY BAD EGGS!:**

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

_"Don't you sass me, young lady or I'll take 30 points from. . . er. . . whatever house you're in. Now follow me!"_

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

_"WHERE'S THE MUSIC?!"****_

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

_"OY!__ Let go of me!" She cried, trying to pry his hands away. "Your hands are rough! They're hurting my face!"_

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

_"They stole our clothes!" Jack complained._

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

_"We're getting Jack back for killing us, and wrecking havoc! Bwahahah! Havoc! HAVOC! HAVOOCCCCCCCCC!!!!" _

_Amanda blinked. _

_"Riiight."___

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

_"well, you can't really die again, can you?" Snape asked, his eyes glittering dangerously. __Elizabeth__ took this into consideration and downed the vile. Then she turned into a hedgehog._

_"Oh my.__ That wasn't supposed to happen. . . " Snape said with mild interest._

**Wow! I'm so ecstatic about this episode of Really Really Bad Eggs! I think I'm going to wet myself!!!**

_Ohh__, please don't Mr. Big announcer voice._

**.:straps on depends:. All set!**

_I'm so proud. :rolls eyes:_

**Chapter 3 [The spittin' image]**

"Please just. . . just turn me back!!" Elizabeth the hedgehog pleaded, jumping on her little feet. Snape looked at her with amusement. He had placed her on the table to get a better look at her, and now she was looking tentivly over the edge.  Snape scratched her behind the ears while he thought.  
"Well, to tell you the truth, this wasn't supposed to happen. So I don't know how to reverse it."  
"WHAT?! Well, what was supposed to happen?"  
"Well. . . . I . . . I don't know. Actually I just like mixing things around a lot!!   
"Oh. Well. That's lovely." Said the hedgehog, starting to cry. "Now I'll never get out! I'll never be able to see Will again, or my father, or Jack! I hate to say this but I will miss Jack as well!!" She sobbed.  
"Aww. . . here! I'll toss you up through the grate, and you can go get God to turn you back, okay?" He said, picking up the squirming animal in his hands.   
"Thank you so much!" Elizabeth said, before she was grannie tossed up through the grate.  
_Finally_. She thought as she landed on a near by cloud. She made her way down a random hall way, not really knowing where she was going, and walked into a room. She suddenly felt a squirming sensation in her stomach and felt like she was going to be sick. Instead she sprouted back into her normal Elizabeth self, and spin around in joy, hugging herself.  
"Are you new? Did you drown too?" Came a voice. Elizabeth turned around, and came face to face with. . .  
"Will!" She cried happily. She ran towards him and threw her arms around him.   
"There there. . . " Will said uneasily.  
"But darling, whats the matter?" She asked, pushing away from him. She took in what she saw. It was definitely Will, but he had a few earrings, and his hair was longer and randomly styled. Sort of like Jack's. There were a few dread locks, and a few braids, all pressed down under a leather hat.  
"Will, sweetheart why are you dressed like this?" She smirked and took off his hat. She couldn't help but laugh at his appearance.   
"I. . " Will started to explain, but his mouth was soon enveloped in a passionate kiss. Not sure what to do, he did the only thing he knew to do in a situation like this. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back. 

. . . Meanwhile. . . 

"Give me my bloody clothes ye looney!" Jack yelled at Kate.  
"Nice robe!" Lizz said tauntingly. Marty's eyes narrowed, and his cheeks flushed.   
"Yeah, too bad you don't have nice clothes like we do!" Melissa yelled at them. They had barricaded themselves behind a wall of heaven rocks and had their weapons pointed at them. Well, actually Kate was pointing the gun and Melissa was wielding the sword. Lizz was waving her fist, but since she was so tiny (4'11'') it didn't intimidate them much.   
"JUST GIVE US OUR CLOTHES BACK!!" Marty screeched.   
"No way! We stole them fair and square! You're a pirate, Jack. You should understand this.  Jack made a face.  
"Damnit. . . they have a point, Marty."  
"To YOU maybe, but I'm NOT a pirate!!" Marty sneered, running at the barricade. He jumped over it easily and stood in front of the girls in a gallant stance.   
"S-s-tay away!" Kate said, the hand she was holding the gun in shook a little.  
"What are you going to do, Shoot me?" Marty asked amused.  
"Yeah!" Kate said angrily.  
"And I'll die. Right? Cuz I'm not already dead." He snapped. Kate thought about this, and sighed.   
"Give us our clothes back." He said. Melissa started to undo her shirt reluctantly, when Will came running up to them.   
"Have any of you seen Elizabeth, or know where she is?"  
"Uh. No!" Lizz lied. Will looked forlornly around. "I've lost her." He said. Amanda ran up behind him looking very guilty.  
"We'll go look for her!" Melissa cried, raising her hand.   
"Yeah!" The girls screamed a little too loudly. Will jumped and looked shiftly from Jack to them. Is everything okay?  
"NO! He was going to _violate_ me!" Melissa said, her eyes getting wide and pointing at Marty. Will fumed.  
"What did I tell you! They're only children!"  
"No we're not! I'm 15 and a half!!" Kate snapped, stamping her foot.  Will rolled his eyes.   
"But they have our clothes!!" Marty whined.  
"Oh grow up!" Will snapped, punching him in the face. He flew back and landed on Jack and the two of them rolled down the hill in a ball of robe and manly ness. The girls stared.   
"Mmmmm Sparrow." They all crooned at once. Will raised an eyebrow.  
"Right. . well, I'm off to find Elizabeth. I'm meet you back here in a little while." He said, running off. Amanda trailed behind him.  Kate Lizz wandered off as well, looking for Will's fiancée.   
  
. . . Meanwhile. . . 

"Oh Will, I love you so much!" Elizabeth chirped, resting her head on his shoulder. Will raised an eyebrow and looked at her.  
"Aye. . . indeed." He said. He was extremely confused about this strange woman, and had no idea where she came from.  
"Our wedding will be spectacular, and that idiot Norrington will die of jealousy! Bwahahaha!" She said giggling.   
"O-Our wedding, l-luv?" Will said, suddenly getting panicked.  
"Of course! Our wedding! I will finally be, Mrs. Will Turner."   
"Oh. . . " Will took out a flask from inside his coat pocket and took a swig.  
"But what's pestering me, is that you don't seem to recall at all, or even know who I am! I mean. . . you seem so distant."   
"Well, to tell you the truth luv, I _don't really know who you are."    
Elizabeth's mouth fell open.  
"I'm Elizabeth Swann! You're fiancée! We've known each other since we were 8! My ship found you on the crossing from England! Oh Will!" She said kissing him softly. "You have amnesia!"   
"I-I do?!" Will looked at her fearfully. She nodded.   
"Yes!" She buried her face in his chest and started sobbing.  
"Oh, there there. I'll. . . . I'll try to remember you some how." Will said, patting her on the back. She looked up at him and smiled. He grinned back and dipped her back, kissing her ferociously, as she giggled madly.  
"Will, I didn't know you were _like_ that she said in a mock scandalized tone." He smirked.  __If she only knew. He thought. Suddenly a very familure figure burst through the door.  
"Elizabeth!" it cried.  
"Will!" She said, her eyes getting wide. She looked from the man she was kissing, to the man in the door way and screamed.   
"Who are YOU?" Will asked, his eyes flashing menacingly.   
"I'm Will Turner. . . " He said, looking confused. "And you are?"   
"Will Turner." Will said, studying the man's face. "Father?!"   
"Son?!" Will (or shall we say, Bootstrap Bill) cried, dropping Elizabeth and embracing his son.   
"Ew, man, that's his __DAD!" Amanda laughed, and pointed at Elizabeth.   
"Oooh! You're that vile wench that threw me in the dungeon!" Elizabeth screamed.  Amanda's face dropped.   
"That wasn't me." Amanda said, looking around for back up. But Will and Bill were already catching up on all the years they missed together, not really caring that Bill was halfway to snogging Will's gal.   
"Come here you!" Elizabeth screamed, chasing after her. Amanda let out a girlie scream and ran out the door. Elizabeth chased her down the hall, and into the main area, where Kate, Melissa, and Lizz were still looking for her under rocks and stuff.   
"Elizabeth!" Kate said tackling her, and letting Amanda escape! "I'm so glad we found you! Where were you!?" She said in fake interest.  
"Making out with Bootstrap!" Amanda cried, running even further away. Kate looked at Elizabeth with disgust. "That's his _Dad!_ That's your soon to be father-in-law! That's icky."   
"I didn't know. I thought it was Will. . . " She said sniffing. Just then God walked down from his office.   
"How is everything? Good good I hope?"  
"No! Not good good, God! Elizabeth made out with her father-in-law!"   
"ew." God said, his nose wrinkling. Will and Bootstrap came strolling by, talking animatedly, with Marty and Jack walking dejected behind them.   
"Will, er. . .Wills. . . I just wanted to say.  ." Elizabeth started, but-  
"Ieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!" Amanda screamed running up to Elizabeth with a sword.  
"Woa! Amanda!" Lizz squealed with excited delight.  
"Uhh, where did you get that sword?" Melissa asked.  
"I found it in some rock out side the pearly gates."  
"Uh oh." God muttered.  
"You know what _that _means!!" Kate said her eyes like coins.  
"ooh, coins." Jack muttered to himself, looking at her eyes.  
"She's the queen of America!" The girls cried.  
"You fool, there's no Queen of America!" some random passerby yelled.  
"That's cuz no one pulled out the sword yet!" Kate yelled back.  
"What have I done!?" God asked, running away.  
"I challenge, YOU Elizabeth Swann. . . oh look it's glowing!" She said, holding the sword aloft. It started glowing, you know like the kinda wam, wam wam, glow. Only it didn't make wam wam wam noises, it's just glowing.  
"Ahh! It's radioactive!!" Lizz yelled. The girls screamed, and ran behind Jack.   
"Give me my clothes ye swab!" he growled. They stuck out their tongues at him.  
"Anyway, I challenge _you_ Elizabeth Swann!" Amanda said, holding the sword like a baseball bat. Elizabeth stared in fear. "D-d-on't I get a weapon too?" She asked meekly.   
"Here. Take this!" Kate said, grabbing a que tip out Melissa's pocket and handing it to her.   
"Hey! That's mine!" Melissa said. Elizabeth snatched it and held it up to her face.   
"This is IT?!" She asked, outraged. The girls snickered behind Jack.   
"Fine. . . " She said, and without warning she shoved the q-tip in Amanda's eye.  
"Ah!" She said, holding her eye, and pulling out the cotton swab. "Owie. Oh god, damn that hurts! My contact! Ahh!" Amanda's tall frame came crashing to the ground, still holding said sword in hand.   
"I won?" Elizabeth asked. The girls grumbled, and Will beamed proudly. _

-Wow, short. But. . .more madness coming up!! Such as:

Governor Swann and Norrington get a little help from Harry Potter.

And

A 'like woa' moment!


	4. Woah

**Really Really Bad Eggs**

_Anne Parkington_

Review Replies:

Marie The Black Rose: Yes, Mmmm Sparrow indeed. . . :sigh: sooo pretty!!! :hands out drool bags to everyone: 

Nicole297: Oh no! You'll have to stop sometime or you'll like. . . I dunno. . . hurt your diaphragm. . . uhh I'm not a doctor but that cant be good heeehee ^_^

August DuMonte: Yes, more Norrington in this chapter! Yayy!! I don't care what anyone says, he was sexy too. . . only in a different way than Will and Jack. . . 

Slowbum360: Yes, yes, it is very very gross. . . but. . . Elizabeth is dumb.  . ^_^ 

abi, the hyper little cursed monkey: You kidnapped Jack and Will?!!! How am I supposed to write the story if you _kidnapped them?!! ::cries, glares and steals them back:: so there! Heeheee!!! Thanks for the review!!_

OrlandosElfPrincess: Thanks!! ^_^ socks flying off are always fun!

Elf-Vulcan: Normally no one would be able to defeat Amanda, she is all powerful, but. . . she was caught off guard. And I do enjoy Elizabeth more when she's a hedgehog, easier to smoosh! Fwahahahahahahahaha!

the second geek reigns supreme!: That you do! And I'd totally get you tickets, but I already have a POTC soundtrack!! Heehee!! My evil cousin is going, you can take his tickets. You can steal them from him when he's sleeping!

ANONYMITY MUAHAHAHA : Yay Harry Potter! And Taylor shall be in this a little more, Taylor. I mean. . . unknown fanfic reviewer. . . ::tip toes away::

AppleJuiceMaker: I love this pen name, makes me thirsty actually. . . mmm apple juice, one of my favorite juices EVER!! Whenever I go over my friends house I usually end up drinking it all. . . I'm a pig. Anyway, you get two drooling bags, and more 'Mmmm sparrow' coming up! Hey! I could start a soup line or something. . . or. .  a cereal! A cereal with small marshmallow Jacks, coins, and rum bottles. And the catch phrase will be Mmm Mmm Sparrow!! And then I'll have to run away from Campbell's. . . oh well!

Taylor] We put up the posters just like you said!

_Good, good. Where's Isabelle?_

Taylor] Uhh, I don't know. .  .

_You lost him?!_

Taylor] NO!! I did not! How _dare you accuse me of such!_

_Tay__, he was with you last!_

Taylor] Uhh. . . Oh yeah, I put her in my purse!!! I forgot!!

_You put him, in your purse. He's a boy. Him him him._

Taylor] ::ignoring:: Ohh there you are pretty girl!!! We did a good job with those flyers huh? ::picks her up and swings her around::

_::raises eyebrow:: anyway. . . Mr. Big announcer voice, this is your cue._

__

**.: BIG**** BOOMING ANNOUNCER VOICE :.**

**Last time on Really Really Bad Eggs**

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"Give me my bloody clothes ye looney!" Jack yelled at Kate.

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"What are you going to do, Shoot me?" Marty asked amused.  
"Yeah!" Kate said angrily.  
"And I'll die. Right? Cuz I'm not already dead." He snapped. Kate thought about this, and sighed.

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"Mmmmm Sparrow."

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"I'm Elizabeth Swann! You're fiancée! We've known each other since we were 8! My ship found you on the crossing from England! Oh Will!" She said kissing him softly. "You have amnesia!"

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"Ew, man, that's his _DAD!_" Amanda laughed, and pointed at Elizabeth  
**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"She's the queen of America!" The girls cried.

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"Fine. . . " She said, and without warning she shoved the q-tip in Amanda's eye.

**Gee Willikers, this is getting to me some exciting stuff!! I just cant wait for chapter 4!!**

Chapter 4 [Woa. . . ]

Governor Swann looked out at the horizon and sighed. Those 'Ghost Kaput-ers' or whatever they were, were taking a long time to return his daughter. 

"I worry." Norrington said standing besides him. "I feel that now is the time to take this into our own hands."

"How? They're dead." Governor Swann said sadly.

"How quickly you give up!" Came a voice behind them. They turned around and found themselves looking at a boy with messy black hair, green eyes, round glasses and a scar like lightning on his forehead. In one hand he held a broom.

"Who are you!?" Governor Swann asked in surprise. 

"I'm Harry Potter! Take this broom and fly to save your daughter!" The boys said.

"Oh thank you!" Governor Swann said grabbing the broom. Norrington raised an eyebrow and stroked his chin.

"Who did you say were?" Norrington asked, putting his hand at his hip.

"Harry Potter! The boy who lived!" Norrington smirked and raised his eyebrow again.

"Not anymore." He said, and grabbed the gun off his belt and shot him off the ship. Governor Swann stared.

"Why did you do that?!" He asked.

"Not sure. Maybe it's because the blood of Lord Voldemort surges though my veins and I'm just reacting off of instinct, or maybe he was just annoying the frick out of me."

"Oh, alright then." And they jumped onto the boom and flew off into the distance.

About 10 minutes later, the broom suddenly became quite vengeful of it's owner's death and tossed them both off into the forest. They fell fell fell down down down until they landed with a loud **thud! On the forest floor.  Harry's broom landed innocently besides them. Governor Swann and Commodore Norrington stood up and looked at their surroundings fearfully. **

"Where are we?" Asked Norrington.

"I'm not sure-"

Wiiiizzzzzzzthhhpppp! A long wooden arrow shot towards him and pinned his wig to the tree behind him.

"ACH!!" Governor said in surprise, ducking. Norrington gazing in awe at the accuracy of the arrow.  Suddenly a tall, thin blonde man with pointy ears ran up to them.

"What are you doing in my forest?"

"I-I-I-I" They stuttered. The thin figure ran up to Norrington and pinned him against the tree with his sword. 

"Answer the question." He snapped.

"Looking for my d-d-daughter!" Governor stuttered. The elf's eyes softened, and he took a step back.

"A damsel in distress? Who are you?" He asked.

"I am Governor Swann, and this is Commodore Norrington." 

"Your first names are Governor and Commodore?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. . . do you have a problem with that? What's YOUR name?" Norrington asked. 

"Legolas Greenleaf." He said, bowing slightly.

"What kind of stupid name is that?" Norrington asked. Legolas loaded his bow again. Norrington took a step back. Governor put his hands up to stop the quarrel.

"Now now, this is not good to be fighting when Elizabeth is lost." He said. Norrington nodded, and Legolas did too, but also glared at Norrington.

"Will you help us, Mr. Greenleaf?" Governor asked. Legolas looked at the dreading look in Norrington's eyes, and smirked.

"Sure." He said, and they all climbed onto the broom again and flew off to heaven.  Wee!!

-Meanwhile-

"You suck. You totally suck!" Kate said angrily as the boys put their clothes back on. The girls had donned themselves in robes after a little persuasion from God.

"We were just having fun. You guys ruined it. You suck." Lizz said.

"And we were getting you back for KILLING US!! You suck for that too. You all just suck." They glared at Jack and Marty, who were just happy to have their clothes back and weren't really paying any attention to the girls.  

"But, Will, I thought it was you! You look JUST the same!" Elizabeth cried, clinging to Will. Will was looking terribly hurt at the fact that his fiancée was fraternizing with his father. He didn't blame bootstrap of course, how could he have known that he and Elizabeth were engaged? To him it was just some hot chick throwing herself at him. What would any other guy do, huh? But now she was begging for forgiveness, and Will wasn't very happy with her.

"We don't look _that much the same." Will snapped._

"Oh yes you do!! The exact same, only his hair is different. . . and he's more, piratey!"__

_"Piratey?_" Will asked, raising an eyebrow. Bootleg snickered a bit. 

"Yes! Please forgive me!!" She said, hugging his legs. 

"YOU STOLE OUR CLOTHES, WE HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY AT YOU!" Jack roared.

"YOU KILLED US!!!" The girls screamed. 

"YOU WERE MARYSUES!" Marty hollered, waving his arms about. 

"No we're NOT!! We're extra random rabid fangirls, moron!" Melissa said poking him in the chest.

"Jerk!" Kate sneered kicking him in the shins.

"Now don't you hurt my friends!" Will said loudly over everyone's shouting. Elizabeth and Bootleg burst out into angry words, while Jack, Marty and the girls continued their banter. They went on screaming until they were red in the face when-

"ELIZABETH!!!" Governor and Norrington shouted above everyone else. They became silent. 

"Father!!" Elizabeth cried, running towards him and leaping into his arms.

"Legolas!" The girls screamed. 

Legolas jumped, and smiled sheepishly as they all hugged him. 

"Aw. . . no one loves me." Norrington said, a teeny tear running down his cheek.

"I love you. . . " Jack said. "no, I lied. I don't." He stuck out his tongue at him and kicked him in the shin.

"Bloody pirate!" Mumbled Norrington holding his leg.

"Wait. . .woah, this is odd. . . " Amanda said suddenly, dragging Legolas next to Will and Bill. The girls all stared at them in amazement.

"woah" They said. Elizabeth and Governor Swann stared, as well as Jack, Marty and Norrington. Will, Legolas and Bill looked at eachother in amazement.

"Woah. . " They said in unison.

"TOO FREAKY!! They're all the saaaaaammmeeee!!" Lizz said, falling down and having a seizure. No one noticed though and were too busy staring at the three beautiful Orlandos.

"That's. . . I knew he seemed familure!" Norrington said. "That's why I don't like him. He's Will!" 

"I am not Will! I am Legolas!" Legolas said, doing a heroic pose. The two Turners copied him and snickered. Kate took out a camera out of thin air and took some pictures, so did Amanda.

"For my scrap book. . . this is just amazing!" She said. 

"You're like. . . "Will said searching for words. "Me." He finished. Legolas shook his head. "No, you're like me." 

"NO you're all like me!!" Bootstrap said.

"NOO! Like me!!" 

Everyone watched as they fought, and even bought popcorn to watch. It was all very entertaining.

_Okay, this was short and I know it, but I don't have much time and school starts Wednesday. . . !! Weah! So, I'll only be updating on the weekends if I can. Soo, until next week!! Au revior!!_


	5. The Queen of America

**Really Really Bad Eggs**

_Anne Parkington_

**·Review Replies·**

Elf-Vulcan: Heee, I love legolas bunches so I decided, hey. . . the more Orlando the better right? Right!

LilSleepingDevil: Oh dear! I didn't mean to cause you pain, luv. . . yeah but I know what you mean, my friends and I had a Johnny depp marathon party at my house and we watched 12 straight hours of depp movies. . . from like 7 at night to like 7 in the morning! My eyes felt like they were melting into my brain but boy was it worrrrrrrrrth it!!! 

Nicole297: YES! YES YES YES! School is evil! But I'm happy to be back! My teachers are cool, and im a big scary sophomore now!! All hail meeeee!!!!!!!!

Alaura Fairfield: YOU my friend are the jerk!! And im not a looser just cuz I have school, just unfortunate. . . yes! Harry potter must dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Heehee jk! OMg! Some girl keeps saying that in bio! She keeps saying 'just jk-ing mr p!' and im like. . wow. Too much iming for THAT girl. . . 

AppleJuiceMaker: Great idea luv, in fact, I think I'm going to steal it and use it in this fan fic. . . but it's yours of course. . .i'll state that after! ;-)

**LAST TIME ON REALLY REALLY BAD EGGS:**

"Harry Potter! The boy who lived!" Norrington smirked and raised his eyebrow again.

"Not anymore." He said, and grabbed the gun off his belt and shot him off the ship. Governor Swann stared.

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"Your first names are Governor and Commodore?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. . . do you have a problem with that? What's YOUR name?" Norrington asked.

"Legolas Greenleaf." He said, bowing slightly.

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"Oh yes you do!! The exact same, only his hair is different. . . and he's more, piratey!"

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"Legolas!" The girls screamed.

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"I love you. . . " Jack said. "no, I lied. I don't." He stuck out his tongue at him and kicked him in the shin.

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"TOO FREAKY!! They're all the saaaaaammmeeee!!" Lizz said, falling down and having a seizure.

**.::.::.::.::.::.::.::.**

"NO you're all like me!!" Bootstrap said.

**Woah****! This is just great!! But before we go on to our next chapter. . . here is a word from our sponsor (Applejuicemaker)**

**Will: ::eating**** cereal, sigh:: I am so bored of the same old cereal every day. I need a change!**

**Jack****: ::walks**** into the room::**

**Will****: AHH! Jack! What are you doing here?!**

**Jack:**** I've come to save the cereal day! Eat this!! ::shows box with jack's grinning face and giving the thumbs up::**

**Will****: What kind of cereal is it?**

**Jack****: Cereal.**

**Will****: Yeah. . . but what's in it?**

**Jack:**** CEREAL!! DUH! Now eat it or I'll blast your head off!**

**Will****: ::starts**** to eat quickly::**

**Fangirls****: ::run**** on:: mm mmm jack! ::dances around:: By Jack- o's and leave the driving to us!**

**Jack****: Wa?**

**The end**

**And NOW THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. . . THE CONCLUSION OF REALLY REALLY BAD EGGS. **

Song to listen to whilst reading this chapter- love that girl from the cry baby soundtrack. Don't know why. . . I just love that song, specially cuz Johnny Depp sang it in the movie and I love 50s music. . . and its random, and random kicks ass. 

Chapter 5 (the queen of America)

While the Orlandos fought, everyone else started to wonder what was going to become of them. . . would God really bring them back to life again? Hey. . that kind of rhymes. Kate was really starting to worry. She had promised her mom she'd be home for dinner. She looked over at God and did her best puppy eyes, which really ended up looking like a lopsided frog. 

"AHH!" God said seeing the hideous look on her face. "I mean. . aww. Whats the matter my child?"

"Are we going to be dead forever?" Kate asked.

"Well, I only let them go back last time because their deaths would have altered history. It would have been catastrophic!"

"But what about ours! Isn't our death going to have come chaotic effect on the world?!" Kate cried.

"Uhh. . . " God trailed. Kate's face dropped.

"You've got to be kidding me! No effect at _all!_?" Melissa asked, turning away from the Orlandos. 

"I'm sorry. . . " God started.

"PLEASE?!!!" Lizz Amanda, Melissa and Kate cried flinging themselves at God's legs and holding on tightly. God looked down exasperatedly at them and sighed.

"FINE! I'll let you go back, but only on one condition."

"anything!" the girls chorused.

"I send Jack, Elizabeth and Will back and you all have to be scullery maids on the pearl."

The orlandos suddenly stopped arguing and looked at them. Jack beamed and Elizabeth looked on them with sympathy.

"Scullary maids?! As in. . . servents?! For JACK?" Lizz said.

"sex slaves, sex slaves, sex slaves!" Meliss and Kate chanted under their breath. Jack smirked to himself not letting them know he'd over heard.

God ran a hand over his head and groaned.

"I was hopiong to be free of paper work for a while. . . but no matter, give me about an hour and I'll get everything sorted out for you guys."

"THANKS GOD!!" Jack called as God walked back to his office.

"HA! They think they can make me into a scuallary maid, but they CANT!" Amanda said pumping her fist in the air.

"What do you mean?" Jack said, dodging her fist. 

"Well, I'm the Queen of Amercia remember?" Amanda explained. "And the Queen of America is no one's slave. It's just not done, man!" Jack raised his eyebrow, making every girl in the whole wide world sigh. 

"I don't think God's going to care, luv." Jack said. Amanda shrugged. 

"OH well, I've got an hour to kill, might as well make some use out of it." Amanda said and linked arms with Legolas and leading him out of heaven. 

"Where are THEY going?" Jack asked.

"Oh, I think you know." Lizz said looking over at Elizabeth who was looking from Will to Bootstrap with a horribly torn look on her face.

"Will, you know I love you more than anything in this world right? And I'd do anything for you. .. but you're soooo uptight!"

Will scowled at her.

"And Bill. . " Elizabeth laughed huskily, making Will's eyebrows disappear under his hair. 

"You're exciting, and adventurous, and a PIRATE!!" 

Kate, Lizz, and Melissa sighed. Jack suppressed a laugh.

"But. . . I'm a pirate TOO!!" Will cried.

"And you're a really really really good kisser!!" 

Bill smirked. 

"HEY!" Will protested.

"And you're probably excellent in bed, just like Jack." She turned and winked at the captain. Bill shrugged in modesty and Jack beamed. 

"Wait. . . JACK?!" Will cried looking like he was about to die.

"And since will's SOOOO uptight, I doubt he'd be able to live up to a REAL pirate in bed."

"I'm standing right here you know." Will said angrily. Elizabeth looked at him and smiled.

"I know darling!" She said obliviously.

"Dude. . . "Kate said slinging her arm over Elizabeth's shoulders. "If you hook up with Bill. . . Will will be your step son." 

Everyone's face broke out into a disgusted sneer.

"Dear lord. . . "Mumbled Norrington under his breath.

"Okay, okay! I choose Will, but you've got to work on how uptight you are, alright."

"Anything for you, Elizabeth." Will said, dragging her to him and kissing her with as much passion as he possessed, running his hands up and down her back. She dug her fingers through his hair, clearly enjoying the change. 

Norrington's face burned with jealousy and as he looked away Governor patted him on the back. 

"We'll find you some other girl." He said. They looked over at Kate, who noticed their gaze and hooked arms with Marty and marched off. They then looked at Melissa who hooked arms with Jack and dragged him off in the same direction. They THEN looked at LIzz, who gave a loud EEP!! And grabbed bootstrap's arm and pulled him away too. Norrington sighed, looked at Governor and started to cry.

About a half hour later, Jack, Melissa, Marty, Kate, Bill and Lizz had situated themselves behind some bushes and were playing 'egyptian rat screw'. Suddenly Amanda and Legolas returned, covered in mud.

"Where were you?!" Lizz asked in surprise. Amanda and Legolas smirked. 

"To the forest." Legolas said, wiping mud out of his hair and eyes.

"And did WHAT?!" Meliss asked, claiming a card sandwich.

"Wrestled." Amanda said spitting some mud out.

"Naked." Kate finished, looking up at them. The two blushed, making the group howl with laughter. 

"AMANDA!!" Lizz scolded playfully. Amanda rubber her neck embarrassedly and she and legolas ran off. 

"To shower together no doubt." Jack said cheekily.

"I got it all done. You all can go home except Bill and Marty!" God said walking up to them.

"What?!" Marty and Bill said in outrage. "That is not fair!!" 

"Life isn't fair, boys! Get used to it!" The others stood up and followed God towards the main area. Amanda and Legolas caught up all sparkly clean again. (Heaven magic!*) God lined them all up, waved his amrs around and transported them, alive again, to the Black Pearl.

Two days later.

Kate scrubbed the deck of the pearl with a brush, sweat dripping off her nose in the Caribbean heat.

"Missed a spot, luv." Jack said smirking. Kate narrowed her eyes and threw the brush at him hitting him in the head. 

"HEY! That wasn't nice! No supper for ye!" He turned on his heel and walked off. Melissa walked by, carrying a pair of freshly polished boots. 

"These look good to you?" She asked. Kate looked.

"Yes ma'am." Kate nodded. Melissa walked on towards Jack. Lizz walked by with a sack of potatoes, followed by Amanda. 

"Kate, do you think he'll be happy with these?" She opened her sack to reveal that it was full of potato mush.

"What did you do to them?" Kate asked.

"I used my way cool kick ass queen-of-america sword to peel them. Didn't word did it."

"No. . just give it up, you'll never really claim your thrown as Queen of America." 

"Shut up Kate, you don't KNOW!"

"I guess not."

"I better get these potatoes to Jack. . . " Amanda said slinging the bag over her shoulder and continued on her way. Kate looked out at the horizon and smiled. Although she was condemned to a life of scullery, the Caribbean sure was beautiful. 

"Dun nun u nun u nun u. . ", Jack sang and everyone stood next to her.

"And really (really) bad eggs." They all sang

Drink up me hearties yo ho!

-end-  
  



End file.
